Boy oh boy, I wish I could take the credit for these, but I can't. When I first read them just the other day, I laughed and laughed and laughed some more.
I hope that you get some enjoyment from them.
How to speak about men and be politically correct ...
1. He does not have a 'beer gut', he has developed a 'liquid grain storage facility'.
2. He is not a 'bad dancer', he is 'overly Caucasian'.
3. He does not 'get lost all the time', he 'investigates alternative destinations'.
4. He is not 'balding', he is in 'follicle regression'.
5. He does not act like a 'total ass', he develops a case of 'rectal-cranial inversion'.
6. It isn't his 'crack' you see hanging out of his pants, it's 'rear cleavage'.