This post is selectively copied from Judy, who copied it from Gary, who got it from who knows where?
There are some REALLY funny stories here. Sometimes I will add a comment or two. At other times, I will just let the story speak for itself. (You probably should be sitting down while you read. I wouldn't want you to fall over laughing and hurt yourself.)
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He responded, "NO, it's not. Four is larger than two." We haven't used Sears repair since.
I went through the McDonald's takeout window and gave the clerk a five dollar bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, saying that I owed $4.25 and he was sorry but they could not do 'that kind of thing'. The clerk then proceeded to give me back one dollar and 75 cents in change.
[Boy oh boy oh boy oh boy, I could do a whole post in response to THIS one! In fact, look for it to be published in "Goldenrod's thoughts" coming your way in the not too far distant future.]
My son went to a Taco Bell and ordered a taco. He asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal' lettuce. The clerk said he was sorry but they only had iceberg lettuce. [You know, I think I've heard this story before, but it's worth repeating.]
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled 'knowingly' and added, "That's why we ask." [!]
When my wife and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I automatically tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey!" I shouted at the technician, "It's open!" His reply? "I know. I already got that side."
What could anyone possibly add to these? Nothing! Folks, they're everywhere!! Not only that, they're among the registered voting public!!!