Sunday, August 10, 2008

Dreams and fun stuff

I am having really weird dreams. This morning's very early dream I'll share in part with you, mostly because I remember only parts of it. Rrvit!


At first it has only to do with taxi-driving. I've driven my blue Buick LeSabre, for almost a year now (!) a personal vehicle, over to a hotel stand to 'visit' with a couple of long-timey friends. A fellow comes out of the hotel with his luggage and says he wants to go to IAH. My friends want ME to drive him! He looks and says, "But it's not a taxicab." They say, "That's OK. She's a friend of ours. She knows what the rates are. Go ahead!" He gets in, I turn the meter on (??), and then the scene switches back to ...

... the same hotel, where I am now picking up a complete stranger, who says that he wants to go downtown. We're a pretty good ways off from downtown, but before we can even take off another potential passenger flags us down. Now, SHE I recognize as a long-time previous customer. They're both going to the same general area, so off we go. (No meter this time, at least not in my conscious memory banks!)

We're traveling east on I-10 towards downtown. Good. I exit three times incorrectly. Not good. The first time I do so, I try and get right back on the interstate, only to discover that we're now heading west instead of east. Customers don't seem to notice. They haven't been paying any attention.

A couple more wrong exits later, we're still not downtown. In the interim, somehow or another, I have dropped off the female customer where she wanted to go (thought she wanted to go 'downtown'?) and male customer (who, as it now turns out, is one of my cancer patient customers from Florida) and I have continued onward, where the scene switches to ...

... the residence of a bridge acquaintance of mine, who is at home doing some paperwork.

Other bits and pieces (fragmented at the very best!) from this most convoluted dream include a bridge tournament that Butch conducted all by himself, my being absolutely chagrined at not being dressed properly to drive a taxicab, and a teddy bear singing chipmunk songs! (You'd have to have been there!!)



Moving on to "fun things", this part of the post is taken from Tish, who took it from Margie, who took it from 'who knows where'. It's called, "And then the fight started...". Ready? Are you sure??


When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive, so I took her to a gas station. Attfs...


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized that I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt." So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too." Attfs...


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" Attfs...


I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and the other driver, who happened to be a little person, got out of his car. You know how sometimes you get soooo stressed and, right or wrong, some things just seem funny? Well, this was one of those times. He stormed over to my car, looked up at me and said, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!" So, I looked down at him and said, "Well then, which one are you?" Attfs...

2 comments:

Craig Peihopa said...

Loved the Social Security and the lady celebrating the most.

Very Good. How did the Astros go?

Goldenrod said...

We won! (Too little too late for this season, I fear, but we WON!)

Glad you liked the jokes.