Two more jokes for you ... another dumb blonde one (which is only so-so funny, I think), and an exam one which I find hilarious!
A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone under, and she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray, "God, please help me. I've lost my business and, if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house. Please let me win the lottery."
The lottery night comes, and someone else wins.
She prays again, "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house, and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lottery night comes, but again someone else wins.
Once again she prays, "Oh God, why have you forgotten me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask you for help, and I've always been a good servant. PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."
Suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light as the Heavens open. The blonde is overwhelmed as she hears God say, "I have heard your prayers and would like to help, but could you work with me on this one?? ... ... Buy a ticket!"
Two sophomores at Duke University were taking Organic Chemistry. They had done so well on all the midterms, quizzes, and labs, etc., that they both just knew they were 'Ace-ing' the course.
Even though the final exam was going to be on Monday, the weekend before they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends.
They had a great time, but slept almost all day Sunday with bad hangovers and didn't make it back to Duke until Monday morning. Rather than go dragging in to take the exam, they went in to see the professor afterwards and explained about all the car problems they had had on the way back, how they'd had to wait a long time for help, then they'd had a flat tire and had to change it. Could they possibly come in the next day to take the final?
The professor thought it over and then agreed that they could come in the following day to make up the final. He told his two star pupils to study hard. They did.
The next day came, and they appeared at the time the professor had set. He placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.
The first problem was something simple about free radical formation and worth five points. "Piece of cake," each one thought.
However, when they turned to the next page, each was completely unprepared for the next question (worth 95 points), which was in several parts: Which tire? What time was it? Who changed it? Where were you when the tire went flat? What caused the tire to go flat? Who was driving?