Why I Like Retirement

Chuck has kindly given me permission to use his post of just the other day. I might not agree with everything stated below - and wish that I could be enjoying mine as much as Ellen and he are enjoying theirs - but I nonetheless share it with you now in the hope that you will get somewhere near approaching 10% of the laughs I got when I first read it.


Q: How many days in a week?
A: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday.

Q: When is a retiree's bedtime? (This one's my 2nd most favorite.)
A: Three hours after he/she falls asleep on the couch.

Q: How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it might take all day.

Q: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
A: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Q: Why don't retirees mind being called 'Seniors'?
A: The term comes with a 10% discount.

Q: Among retirees, what is considered 'formal' attire?
A: Tied shoes. (My favorite ... rrvit!)

Q: Why do retirees count pennies?
A: They're the only ones who have the time.

Q: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
A: NUTS!

Q: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic, or garage?
A: They know that - as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Q: What do retirees call a long lunch?
A: Normal.

Q: What is the best way to describe retirement?
A: The never-ending coffee break.

Q: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
A: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Q: Why does a retiree often say that he doesn't miss work, but he misses the people he used to work with?
A: He is too polite to tell the truth.


Folks, I just laughed and laughed and laughed some more when I first read Chuck's post. I hope you've gotten a kick out of it, as well.

He concludes with a really cute little cartoon, which I've tried to capture and include here but have been unsuccessful.

The caption reads (and it's a Garfield-type cartoon, you'll like it - I'll give you the link to Chuck's site in just a moment, so you can look it up and read it for yourself, OK?), "We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads. So I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent and my head couldn't hold any more so it started filling up the rest of me!"


Here's the link to Chuck's post (you might notice that I changed a word or two here or there). Meanwhile, back at our respective ranches, I know that both of us would appreciate additional input (particularly in re questions and answers) that might add to others' enjoyment of future articles/posts entitled, "Why I Like Retirement."

Please ... feel free to make your contributions, OK?