Monday, June 22, 2009

Personal comments on "Life lessons"

I turned 72 yesterday, but did not publish a post. In fact, I didn't even answer the phone after my bridge partner called just two hours prior to game time and cancelled our game, saying that he wanted to spend time with his family on Father's Day. (Said he hadn't realized it would be Father's Day when he made the date - just the day before.)

This reaction is very much like me, I'm afraid. I do not follow enough of either Erma Bombeck's or Regina Brett's precepts. I sometimes tend to wallow in self-pity. This is a terribly unattractive trait, but one I possess -- unfortunately.

This post will not - or should not! - be a depressing one. However, it will be of a reflective nature. I've gotten some sleep and today is another day, right? There's an expression in Spanish that I dearly love ... "Manana es otro dia!" ... "Tomorrow is another day!" Well, this is tomorrow.

[Just a few days ago, I'd begun doing research on the qualities/characteristics of a "Gemini", and had intended to do a post on that for my birthday. Then, as occasionally happens with me on "important" days/dates/events/occasions, I couldn't bring myself to do such a post. That old 'depression gremlin' sneaking up on me again, I guess.]

But let's move on. There are several points from Regina Brett's "Life lessons" (published earlier today) that I'd like to expand upon.

Numbers 5 (Pay off your credit cards every month.) and 9 (Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.) ... ... My parents tried to impress the importance of those on me. My first husband tried to impress the importance of those on me. Not one of them made even the slightest impression! Where the devil was I? Pie in the sky? Head in the clouds? Live happily ever after? Who knows?!? I have paid dearly for those mistakes in the past and am living ... not all that unhappily most of the time - in fact, have almost forgiven myself and 'moved on' to the present, but am not all that sure about #42 (The best is yet to come.)

#7 (Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.) ... I have discovered that everyone wants to hear about your problems. It makes them feel better about their own! [One of the worst things about living alone is that there is no one to share the good news with!] That's kind of a sad truism about life, isn't it? We seem to thrive on others' misfortunes in an effort to take attention away from our own! But let's get back to the point of #7.

Years ago, when I was in therapy, my counselor shared with me a story about herself. It seems that she was in her apartment, sad, all alone and crying. She decided to go out to the neighborhood bar and continue her cry. One person after another tried to join her to offer some sympathy. None succeeded. She wanted to be alone in her misery, but not all alone! Does that make any sense to you? It does to me, but maybe you'd have to have 'been there done that'.

#11 (Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.) ... I've tried to do that. Am getting better, I think. Hopefully!

#14 (If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.) ... I referenced this one in my "I am so frustrated!" post of a couple of days ago. I've been guilty of extra-marital relationships in the past and am not proud of them. In fact, I wrote about some of these last year (or was it earlier this year? - it would have been in one of my "Memories of my mother" posts, I think) and have some personal knowledge of the damage they can do - not only to the relationship itself, but to the individual person involved.

Jacky sent me an e-mail - she was sorry to have missed my call, she said - wherein she echoed Al's advice to let him go (and perhaps lose his wife's newly-acquired friendship in the process). He would never understand, she iterated, that I was simply inquiring, hoping to renew a long ago remembrance with someone I'd known intimately and had fond memories of, but was not interested in a continuing relationship other than that of friendship.

#21 (Burn the candles. Use the nice sheets. Wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save them for a special occasion. Today is special.) ... Shades of Erma Bombeck here. Wonderful woman!

#23 (Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.) ... There's a kind of neat series on television right now ... ... well, shoot! I've just looked through all of the listings for this week and can't find it, so maybe it's not 'on right now' ... ... Anyway, it is/was called (something like) "Don't Eat the Daisies" -- "Pushing Daisies"?? ... a far-out premise, but in there are these two "little old ladies" who wear purple (or whatever other darned color they feel like wearing and who are funny as all get out!) ... ... Okay now, where was I? Oh, yes! On the subject of wearing purple.

I had on my refrigerator for years and years a poem one of my art clients gave me. (I can't find it, wouldn't you just know it? And I've looked!) She thought I 'wore purple' ... in other words, she thought I was eccentric and liked me all the better for it. (Worse yet, I can't even remember her name. Oh, well!)

#29 (What other people think of you is none of your business.) ... I've never heard that before, and I love it!

In fact, I like it so much that I'll end this post with that thought. Hope each and every one of you is having a good one!


Craig Peihopa said...

A very interesting post Goldenrod. My thoughts and good wishes are sent in your direction. Belated Happy Birthday and just know that I think you are wonderful.

Chuck said...

Happy birthday a bit late. Keep on being yourself, for that's who we all enjoy reading!

steven said...

hey goldenrod, a late happy birthday. i love your last quote. that's got a place on my fridge for sure!!! have a peaceful day and remember numbers are just numbers they aren't descriptions of what lies behind them!!! steven

Goldenrod said...

Thanks, guys, for all your supportive comments and birthday wishes.

Polimom said...

Happy Birthday (a bit late) from me as well!

And yes, that last one is a really important bit of wisdom. I can't think of a single reason why anyone needs to know what others think of him/her. Particularly if it's less-than-laudatory.