Some months ago, I tried to reach out to some of those from my past. Have you ever tried to do that?
Well, I've been successful a time or two or three, but this one time I almost wish that I had not been successful!
Who was it? Well, it was the fellow I 'went with' for a couple of years and was subsequently engaged to in college. Then, his father died and I had visions of his mother - who was fairly dependent upon him at the time - living with us. I ended our relationship without giving him an explanation. (I forget how, exactly, I returned his engagement ring, but I know I did.)
It's my fault, I'm pretty sure. I was simply trying to reach out and touch those from my past to see how they were doing, to see if they were "okay", what had been happening in their lives, to try and re-establish some sort of contact, etc.
Well, this fellow's fine, but he's way too interested in getting together again! He wants me to attend a 50th college reunion in the UP in September ... ... I cannot afford to go, but he'll pay my way (he just "wants to see me again", or so he says).
He's called twice already today. Both times I was unavailable. The first time I was in the other room and didn't get to the phone on time. He left a voice message. The second time I was playing bridge with Rick Barrett.
My daughter is out of town and I can't confer with her. I've tried to call Beth, but got her voice mail. I tried to call Jacky and got Al (her husband), who advised me not to return his calls - just to hang up on him should he call again.
Why is he calling now? His wife is out of town, that's why! Yes, you read that right. He's married!! (And going on 50 years, for crying out loud!!!)
Beth sent me a really neat e-mail the other day, one part of which says, "If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it." That's a zinger, isn't it? (Btw, I'll be doing a post soon where I'll be sharing other thoughts from her e-mail. It's a good one. Watch for it!)
I have tried to explain to this person that I have no intention whatsoever of coming between him and his wife (who I feel has now become my friend), but he simply won't give up.
I don't want to be mean or ugly ... neither of those adjectives really 'fit' me or my 'style', I don't think, but I don't see another way out of this situation.
If you have a recommendation, I'd sure like to hear it!