Fetishes

I have three fetishes.


Just what is a fetish, anyway?


My dictionary, circa 1976, only has one word listed under its third definition of this term. That word is "fixation".


Wiktionary (as of April 2008), on the other hand, expands its third definition to include such terms as "irrational", "abnormal", and "preoccupation".


Almost ALL refer to some sort of sexual abnormality.


I never thought of myself as having a sexual abnormality. Perhaps I should?? What I DO know is that I have three fetishes, the first one stemming from many years ago -- whereupon leaving the house, I inadvertently left the coffee pot plugged in. When we returned many hours later, we discovered that part of the counter top had melted.

The whole counter had not yet caught fire, but damage was done. That was the origin of my first 'fetish'. I (to this day!) do not leave the house without first checking to see whether or not I have unplugged the coffee pot.


My second 'fetish' appeared when, not that long ago, I returned to the house only to discover that the garage door was wide open! (Unless I am going to be returning within the next 10-15 minutes, I almost always shut the garage door. In this particular instance, I was gone for most of the day!!) I found that un-nerving.


My third 'fetish' is only recently acquired.

I was feeling tired, and went to bed. Woke up several hours later, and thought I smelled something 'hot'.

My first thought was, "It's the computer!" Ran into the other room. It wasn't the computer. Checked my messages and e-mails, etc. Then, leisurely, went into the kitchen.

There, the smell was a little stronger. (I had already gone past the furnace area, so it couldn't be THAT!) I thought, "What the devil?!?"

My foot stepped on something that 'crackled'. I looked down. It looked like an eggshell. Upon further inspection, I discovered that it was an eggshell! I thought, "What the devil?!?"


Finally, I remembered that I had been hard-boiling some eggs the night before. I looked in the refrigerator. Hard-boiled eggs were not there. I looked in the sink. Hard-boiled eggs (in their pan) under cold running water were not there.

I looked at the stove. There, about to burst all over kingdom come yet once again, were the remainders of my hard-boiled eggs in a pan that had long since run dry!! I grabbed a couple of oven mitts to remove the poor pan from the over-heated area, and thanked my lucky stars that the whole place hadn't caught on fire.


OK. I need some input from you guys. Am I using the term 'fetish' correctly? Whatever the proper term is, however, I now have three.