Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Recollections ...

... particularly personal ones, such as emotions - how one was feeling at the time, for example, or what one was thinking - can be terribly subjective. And, as a result, inaccurate.

Our memories are colored by the passage of time, by changes in our outlook and perspective, by what's important to us now, by how our definitions have been altered by our experiences, by how we feel or what's happening with or around us at the moment of recollection, by all sorts of different things - some of which we are perhaps unaware.

I don't think I fully realized that until just a few moments ago. I was reading Bug's latest post, where she is beginning a series about her time in Zambia a little more than twenty years ago.

Ten years after she returned, she put together two large scrapbooks - trying to re-create her experiences there - and then wrote a poem in which there is a line that perfectly describes what I was trying to say in the second paragraph of this post ... "remembered as in a dream edited by time reconstructed to suit myself" ... beautifully-expressed, Bug, and so true.

Since January of 2008, when I first began blogging, I have published over 600 posts, nearly half of which are labeled "About me", "Memories", or "Personal thoughts/comments". There is some overlapping, of course, but there is a lot of "me" in my blog.

I haven't been this prolific since the early and mid 80's, when I was going through such an emotional upheaval. I spent many hours writing it all down while it was happening - some in poetry form, but most in prose. It's here. I've saved it. It's pretty raw. Very emotional. I don't like to go back through it. Too painful, for the most part.

Some of the poetry I have shared with you on my blog, that which I wanted you to read. There might be more later. We'll see. Depends on how I feel about it. To describe myself throughout the great majority of my life as an "unrealistic romantic" would be pretty much dead on, I think.

However, there are a number of humorous poems that I have yet to share - ones that have nothing whatever to do with romance. I promise that I will include those in posts further on down the line.

I will be very interested in following Bug's continuing story of her time in Zambia. She went there initially as a part of her church's outreach program that included sending recent college graduates to fill temporary support positions in the foreign mission field, and was in Zambia for approximately 18 months.

I'm sure she has many wonderful stories to share with us, and I'm looking forward to reading every one of them.


Craig Peihopa said...

600 posts Goldenrod. I have read a great many of them as well. I am like you, in that I too have a lot of "me" in my blog, perhaps much more than I would like on the odd occasion, but nonetheless I have a left a footprint that I was here, that I thought deeply and felt much. I love reading your posts. Keep it up. and Yes Bug's description is perfect.

The Bug said...

I feel so flattered that you would quote me Goldenrod! I started reading your post & thought, "great minds think alike" & then I saw my name.

At the time I was completing those albums my husband was starting work on his Ph.D in American History. A theme that comes up a lot in his profession is the idea of memory & how it's subjective. makes the study of history difficult & interesting!

I'd love to read some of your poetry. Can you point me back to those posts? Guess I could just browse, couldn't I?

Goldenrod said...

Craig had that very same thought - "Great minds think alike", Bug, when I quoted him in one of my posts some months back. And then he had pretty much the same reaction as you when he saw his name. :)

You don't have to 'browse' to find some of my poetry. Just click on "Poems" under Labels on my sidebar. There you'll find 23 posts that include poems or limericks. Now, not all of those included are mine, but many of them are. You'll know which ones. I identify them.