... particularly personal ones, such as emotions - how one was feeling at the time, for example, or what one was thinking - can be terribly subjective. And, as a result, inaccurate.
Our memories are colored by the passage of time, by changes in our outlook and perspective, by what's important to us now, by how our definitions have been altered by our experiences, by how we feel or what's happening with or around us at the moment of recollection, by all sorts of different things - some of which we are perhaps unaware.
I don't think I fully realized that until just a few moments ago. I was reading Bug's latest post, where she is beginning a series about her time in Zambia a little more than twenty years ago.
Ten years after she returned, she put together two large scrapbooks - trying to re-create her experiences there - and then wrote a poem in which there is a line that perfectly describes what I was trying to say in the second paragraph of this post ... "remembered as in a dream edited by time reconstructed to suit myself" ... beautifully-expressed, Bug, and so true.
Since January of 2008, when I first began blogging, I have published over 600 posts, nearly half of which are labeled "About me", "Memories", or "Personal thoughts/comments". There is some overlapping, of course, but there is a lot of "me" in my blog.
I haven't been this prolific since the early and mid 80's, when I was going through such an emotional upheaval. I spent many hours writing it all down while it was happening - some in poetry form, but most in prose. It's here. I've saved it. It's pretty raw. Very emotional. I don't like to go back through it. Too painful, for the most part.
Some of the poetry I have shared with you on my blog, that which I wanted you to read. There might be more later. We'll see. Depends on how I feel about it. To describe myself throughout the great majority of my life as an "unrealistic romantic" would be pretty much dead on, I think.
However, there are a number of humorous poems that I have yet to share - ones that have nothing whatever to do with romance. I promise that I will include those in posts further on down the line.
I will be very interested in following Bug's continuing story of her time in Zambia. She went there initially as a part of her church's outreach program that included sending recent college graduates to fill temporary support positions in the foreign mission field, and was in Zambia for approximately 18 months.
I'm sure she has many wonderful stories to share with us, and I'm looking forward to reading every one of them.