Well, I've done some more yardwork - no more dead critters either yesterday or today, thank goodness!; read all of my "Favorites" and made a comment or two, and was just about to tackle a couple more hours' worth of Zousmer's book when I made the mistake of opening my latest e-mail from Beth. Just too much fun not to immediately share it with you. Enjoy!
New Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands recently opened in New York City. Near the entrance to this store, where a woman may go to shop for a new husband, are these instructions ... ... You may visit this store only once! There are six floors, and the value of the merchandise increases as you ascend the flights. You may select any item from a particular floor or decide to continue on up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
The other day, a woman entered the Husband Store to shop. A sign on the first floor door read, "These men have jobs." She was intrigued, but continued on to the second floor, where the sign read, "These men have jobs and love kids." That's nice, she thought, but I want more, so she continued upward.
"These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good-looking," read the third floor sign. Wow, she thought, but felt compelled to keep going. At the fourth floor she exclaimed, "Oh, mercy me! I can hardly stand it!!" when she read this sign ... "These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with housework."
For some reason, however, she continued on to the fifth floor, where she read, "These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with housework and have a strong romantic streak." She was SO tempted to stay, but went on to the sixth floor, anyway.
The sign on the door read, "You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store."
In order to avoid possible gender bias charges, the owner opened a New Wives Store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex, have money and like to drink beer. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.