Monday, May 31, 2010

What can be said?

My dear friend, Jacky, is on her way back home to Indiana after attending a long-timey friend's funeral in North Carolina. She says that she and her husband are taking their time on the return drive.

Good! They probably need the time to be silent and reflect on individual memories of their friend, but also to communicate and share with each other what he meant to them both.

When I first got the notice of his passing, I made no response to Jacky. It wasn't that I felt nothing. No, I felt something, but what could I have said?

There are no words adequate to convey what one feels at a time like this, no words of consolation ... nothing, really, other than the common platitudes uttered in frustration by so many.

I've spent many hours these past couple of weeks going through years of accumulated "crapola" in my townhouse .. have decided to just face it and tell it like it is .. well, not really crapola, but most of it meaningless to anyone other than myself.

So many memories. Jacky and her husband will always have those memories - both individual and jointly of their friend - and so he will remain forever in their hearts.

I am glad they went to his funeral, but I am sorry for their loss. It doesn't matter if their friend, towards the very end, had no quality of life and no chance for recovery. He was still their friend and they didn't want to have to say goodbye.

I understand. I weep for them. I empathize in their feelings of loss. I love you, Jacky, and my arms enfold you.


Tammy said...

You are right, Goldenrod, there just are no words. We found that out this weekend after we buried Eric's dog that died in the fire. Sometimes there is just nothing to be said. But your friend knows you have her in your thoughts.

Goldenrod said...

What fire?? You probably wrote about it on your blog, but I've done little else these past few weeks except focus on my upcoming move.

Please tell Eric how very sorry I am that his special friend died and give him a hug from me, if you would.

How awful! To die in a fire!! So sad.

Tammy said...

I will pass it on to Eric, Goldenrod. And yes, Eric's house burned down Saturday.

Goldenrod said...

Thank goodness Eric is OK.

Jacky said...

Thanks for you thoughts and your very good words. They are really appreciated.
You write so well that you leave me with nothing to say but but thank you.