Forget the "-- and, remind me sometime to tell you about it --" (see 'Memories of my brother, part two') ... this story is just too delicious to make any of you wait until some later date. Besides, I'm dying to tell you!
Johnny and I were partners in a duplicate bridge game -- and, as usual, I was having a really good time in spite of my 'uncomfortableness' (I was 9 1/2 months pregnant, and could probably have balanced all four hands on my ex/distended tummy).
It was the last round of the evening, and our opponents were a husband/wife team. The whole room could hear him berating his wife almost the entire evening ... she hadn't made the right bid, hadn't returned his lead, had misplayed the hand, etc., etc.
The most unfortunate part of this whole thing was that she appeared to be in the same condition I was ... very pregnant and about to deliver any instant!
Each round consisted of two hands. The first was uneventful, and pleasantries were exchanged. The second hand, however, was a real puzzler.
I was declarer in a four heart contract. It was very difficult to play -- and, as I sat there trying to plan my strategy, a gallery of onlookers began to gather around our table. (Evidently this particular hand had posed problems for everyone!)
The play of the hand unfolded. Now, it was down to the last two tricks, and I was in the dummy -- not where I wanted to be! There was an outstanding trump out, and dummy had no trump to draw it. (I knew where the outstanding trump was. It was held by the other very pregnant lady at the table, who sat to my right.)
My only hope was to lead a card from dummy and, if she trumped, I would over-trump it, playing my good diamond for the last trick. Well, I did, she did, and I did, making the contract!
The gallery "Oohed" and "Ahhed". Husband 'threw' his cards on the table, screaming, "You blew another one!" She's almost in tears. I'm ecstatic. Crowd is enthusiastic in its praise.
Meanwhile, back at my brother's ranch, he is quietly trying to explain to me (for the gazillionth time, it seemed, before it finally "sunk in") that I had reneged!
You see, of the two cards in dummy that were at my disposal to lead, BOTH were diamonds!!